the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
"Part of me wants to drop out of college and go travel the world.
Part of me wants to work really hard in college and change the world.
Part of me wants to not work hard at all and marry some rich guy.
And the other 97% of me just wants to sleep."